The Story of My Life

"That's the story of my life" is often a phrase my husband gets to hear. A phrase that makes him roll his eyes and walk away. When things don't go the way I planned (and most often they don't), I huff, "That's the story of my life!" or "I should've expected that; that's how things seem to go for me!" I know, super pessimistic right? But that is often how I feel. Do you ever look around and think, "Man they really have it together" or "Everything seems to work out perfectly for them". Okay, maybe you don't, but I do. And it often leaves me frustrated. But not anymore! I had an epiphany of which I am documenting so that I remember it. Here it is: When things don't work out the way you planned, it's because something better is going to work out.

Let me explain.

First I will back up. Years back when I was a teenager, I protested being a sister missionary. I never wanted to serve a mission, I felt sisters could do NO good without the Priesthood. I mean, who could I baptize if I didn't have the Priesthood? So I told myself I would NEVER go on a mission. Well, clearly my plan did not work. In 2004, I left on my mission before my 21st birthday. But when I turned in my mission papers, I told myself I was going stateside and that if I did go foreign, I would go anywhere except I didn't want to learn German, Russian, or any of the Asian languages (Asian languages seemed way too hard with all those character looking picture things and German and Russian just sounded butch and mean). Well, where did I go? Moscow, Russia. Okay, so then when I was on my mission, my companion and I knew transfers were coming and where we wanted to be transferred to. I wanted to go to Nizhni (nicknamed Paradise) and she wanted to go to Yaroslavl (nicknamed Prison because it was such a HARD area). Many times while I was serving with this sister, I would tell her how nothing EVER went how I wanted it to. I explained various different life experiences that proved this true. She would laugh, and when things went awry we'd look at each other like, "See, I told you!" Well, as you can probably predict, when transfer calls came, I was called to Yaro (Prison) and she was called to Nizhni (Paradise). I can't tell you how devastated I was. But yet again we laughed and she said, "You are right. Things really do never go your way." I felt like saying, "Hello, I know!!! I have been telling you this!"

And this seemed to deem itself true over and over throughout my life. Nothing ever seemed to turn out like I planned. 

So,  recently I had another encounter with MY plans falling through. I had planned two very fun surprises for my family. Both of which had to be canceled or postponed. I was so sad and honestly felt like, "Fine, I'm never planning anything fun again. If no one cares then why should I care?" I know that sounds so immature, but that's really how I felt. I was the victim of everyone else's carelessness. Nothing was going my way!

As time went on, eventually both events played out perfectly and went better than I had ever planned. I was thrilled and my negative thoughts disappeared. And that leads me to my point.

This year, instead of writing my own new year's resolutions, I had my husband write them for me. He gave me 5 things to work on or accomplish this year. One of the resolutions he listed was, "Don't Be a Victim". I thought that was so fitting for me. And I know it is because he is tired of hearing me negatively say, "That's the story of my life." Now you have to understand that my husband rarely acts like the victim of any situation. He is amazingly optimistic and offers me a remarkable, undeniable balance. I have thought a lot about this resolution and how to make it come to pass. Am I a victim when my plan doesn't work out or am I just being introduced to a better plan? Do I have to be negative or can I sit back and patiently wait for what is to come?

As I have analyzed this, given the situations that I have shared with you, I can happily say that although my life (thusfar) hasn't gone the way I planned, and probably will continue to go differently than I have in mind, I rarely look back thinking that what I had in mind would have been the better way. I have learned that if my plan doesn't work out, it means that better things are to come. I know this isn't rocket science and it is truly something we have heard before, but it is something to me that I have not only heard, but now experienced. I have confidence that I can go forward, free from a victim's mentality, and optimistic that things work out, and not only do they work out, but they work out BETTER. 

I loved being a sister missionary, I loved speaking Russian (can't imagine my mission any other way), I loved serving in "Prison", and I continue to love planning things with my little family. I won't stop making plans, cause I am a planner girl, but I won't give up when things don't go my way. I am not the victim and the story of my life does not have to be negative but can be positive and uplifting. 

January Sweet January

So I am not going to play catch up on the past 4 months. Too daunting to say the least. But I will recap quickly, and archive later. When you hear all that has gone on, you will understand why I am jumping straight to January. 

September was awesome! Had our friends the Sedgwicks come visit over Labor Day. Later that month I celebrated my 30th Birthday in New York City with my little clan. In October my brother Chris' family came to visit for a week.  We did all the touristy stuff with them. My niece Shelby (who raised enough money to come) came with my sister and mom (who surprised me!) the next week. In between my brother and sister's trips, we packed up our house to move. We moved on October 29th, celebrated Halloween, and got my Christmas projects started. Well, shortly after our move, we realized that the neighbors cigarette smoke was carrying into our apartment and I was having allergic reactions to it. After putting up enough of a stink, we got clearance to move to a different apartment. But before that, we celebrated Thanksgiving. We spent Thanksgiving out to eat at Uno and went to see Frozen. It was a delightful, relaxing day. In November, I learned how to crochet, made a rag quilt, painted a toddler kitchen, and made a Lego table. December 7th we moved into a different apartment. Phew! Problem solved! December 8th we put up our Christmas tree. December 14th we had a mock Christmas Eve. December 15th we celebrated our Massachusetts Christmas and December 17th we left for Christmas in Utah. It was a wild ride. An 8 hour travel day turned into 20 hours, but finally we were in Utah. Well, as out-of-staters understand, visiting family and going on vacation are NOT the same thing. Our Utah trips are jammed packed with stuff to do. They are fun, but BUSY!! We were sick with the stomach flu and a few other illnesses at the beginning of the trip, but we made the best of it. Christmas, New Year's, and everything else was amazing. We returned home, excited to get back into our routine and 'normal' life. I am not sure what 'normal' is anymore. After many weather delays, we finally arrived home mid January. Saying the past 4 months were busy and overwhelming would be beyond an understatement. 

So here is what follows:

January Sweet January

First thing Mav did when we got home was play with his train set. He is ALL boy! He took his Lego animals and put them in his train like a circus train. He is such a fun little guy.

Our favorite Wednesday activity is story time at the EcoTarium. This week's live animal was a Macaw. The kids got to hold real feathers. They were fascinated.

One of my favorite things to do is spy on my kids having free play. They are so explorative and curious. It is fun as a mom to watch your kids learn. We spent so much time playing and brought a sack lunch and ate in the cafeteria for the first time. We love the EcoTarium and Maverick's puffy vest!

Watching Super Why

Today Lanie said, "Mavwick is my Best Fwend!!!" with the biggest smile on her face. They really do love each other so much. Every time we drop Lanie off at Preschool, Mav cries for "Lay-Lee" and when we pick her up he excitedly exclaims while pointing at the door, "Lay-Lee!" They have such a sweet relationship.

The Hudson Library

Lanie calls this the "Different Library." She likes it because she gets to play computer games there. They also have a toddler music and story time that the kids like. Lanie gets really into the fire truck song and the Teddy Bear book. Plus they get stickers at the end and who doesn't love stickers? It is a cute library with lots of moms to get to know.

Yay for baby girl Penrod!

My sweet friend, Amber Penrod, has been doing fertility since they moved here (and before) and they are finally getting their baby girl. The day of her shower was a blizzard, but because so many are so thrilled for them, she had a HUGE showing at her shower. They are a very loved family in the ward. The joke that day was that the storm was bad enough to cancel church, but not bad enough to cancel Amber's shower. So happy for them! And it was a GORGEOUS snow day!

Lanie and her friends at Ethan's "Monster Party". The bottom right picture are all of the kids acting like monsters. They are a spirited bunch of kiddos!!!

Oh how we love our Lanie. She is little miss independent, and she makes me laugh. We have been encouraging her to put her own underwear and pants on after she goes potty, and this is what we get. Pants inside out with underwear over top. She had no idea. These are such blackmail pictures for when she is a teenager! She was cute fishing with her daddy. We had a bowl with papers of land and ocean animals. She got the stick from her princess castle and made a fishing pole out of it and with magnets and paper clips, fished for land and sea animals. She has such an imagination.

ELMO!!!! Or as Maverick would say, Mehmo!!!!!

The kids had a great time meeting Elmo and Cookie and watching the Big Bird movie. This was Lanie's Preschool field trip that daddy came to. Fun family day!

First puzzle completion all by herself. Victory! This girl LOVES puzzles. Yeah!

Best Daddy Award!!!

Shawn takes the kids to the library (and grocery store) on Saturday mornings to give me a break. They love daddy time and I love MY time.

Not Valentine's Day

So last year I made a goal to do something special for Shawn each month. I am sure he didn't totally notice (especially cause there is usually a holiday every month), and I think I only did well half of the year (until things got crazy) but I tried. I felt like it added a lot to our relationship and made me a happier wife. This year, I vowed to do the same. So I started the year off with this: A box filled with notes. I put this on the seat of his car and inside there were instructions. He was to open 1 card on the 14th minute of every hour (example 9:14am, 10:14am, 11:14am.....10:14pm) for a total of 14 cards. This was to kick off the 2014 year right. The idea was for him to feel loved all day long. I think it worked (sigh). And folks, it was not expensive and not hard. The box was a buck and those hearts were a buck so for $2 and a few minutes of thoughtfulness writing notes, I was able to do something nice to make someone's day, which in return, made my day!

I call this boy my "Sweet Treat" and that is exactly what he is. He smiles through EVERYTHING! He fell the other day and banged his cheek HARD. He cried until he could get a hug and then he bounced back to his bubbly self. He is just delightful! That bruise is now healed, but he has a new-found dimple in its place. I call it his "Man-Made Dimple" which makes him even that more adorable and charming. Love him more than words can tell!!!

Remember me mentioning that I learned how to crochet? Well here are a few of my projects. Love learning new things and making homemade Christmas gifts. I am now selling these on my Etsy Shop under TeamHooper. Check it out if you'd like.

Well that is our January in a nutshell. It was fun and never dull.

See you next month!

My Broken Heart

Dear Friends and Family,

Today I have a full, but broken heart. I feel that I must share some thoughts in hopes that someone, somewhere will hear me. I also believe that writing is a great form of therapy. So hear it goes:

Ten days ago, I received the news that my beautiful, 25 year-old cousin passed away unexpectedly. It has been such a whirlwind of a week with family flying in and out, organizing funeral services, offering financial and emotional support, and meeting LOTS and LOTS of people. Not to mention the travel, managing our 2 kids, and loads of snow that continues to dump on us. As I sit back now, after all the dust has settled, thinking, I can't help but mourn her loss. I mourn for those who are left behind. I mourn because of the hardships this amazing girl endured. And I mourn for those without a belief in eternity and immortality. I am so grateful and rejoice in the knowledge I have that she is in welcoming arms in heaven with those she loved and missed ("Bup" and Papa Pete). I am in shock at the chain of events in the past 2 years since I have been able to be closer to her. I never would've imagined being in this place.

Angela Brynn Schiavoni 

at Walden Pond

October 2013

 Eleven months ago today, I received the news that my sweet cousin Skyler passed away at age 28. I won't ever forget that phone call. So not what I was expecting. I remember the world stood still as I sat helpless and unknowing what to do. I wanted to offer my support, love and condolences but didn't know how. The least I felt I could do was pray, which was also the most I could do. Pray for him, pray for his family and friends, and pray for his strong, enduring wife and kids. Sending money and cards just didn't seem like enough. So I prayed (and continue to pray).

Skyler Evan Parker

You may ask, 'why is she writing this?' And here is the answer to that. Because in less than a year, I have lost 2 cousins, 2 cousins that were younger than me! Cousins that I grew up with, shared memories with, and have loved. And in honor of them, I find it important to speak out.

Although these two are from different sides of the family (Angela is from my mom's side and Skyler is from my dad's side), they share a common denominator: Bipolar Disorder.

I don't find this correlation fluke or coincidence, I find it alarming. I speak out for those who know someone or who themselves suffer from this disease. IT IS REAL!!! It must be diagnosed and treated properly. These two cousins of mine did not deserve the hardships they endured. Their disease combined with life's trials lead them down destructive paths. It is heart breaking. 

As one personally attached to these untimely, unexpected and tragic deaths, I am speaking out! Take care of yourself! Take care of your family! Seek help if needed! And cherish those you love! Make wise decisions and wise friends! 

Remember our actions echo through eternity.

Share this if you feel so inclined. 

One voice can become many and hopefully many voices can be heard.